Meeting God Again

  

At that time which I guess is around 2005 I was dating a girl called Monica
from Portugal. We where having a ruff patch and I thought at that time it
was not going to work out. I was living in Amsterdam and I prepared the room and did about an hour musical meditation. I started feeling intense and extreme emotional pain because of the relationship. It was getting to such a high intense moment that it almost became unbearable and then next moment the physical world was gone. In about 5 second I blasted out of the known universe of Love and Light. Now this is significant
because I thought all that exists and God basically everything is in the
“all” of Love and Light. So, I was very surprised that the universe of Love
and Light is just but a spec of all that exists.



I continue to travel at light speed through the empty dark void. Then I
encountered many demons and devils, and they offered me many riches and
powers. I would merge and become one with a devil. I would know all its
thoughts/feelings/desires and I guess it would ‘know/feel’ the same about
me. Even my spiritual form would become that of the devil I have joined
with. I clearly remember growing long teeth like them. Each time I would
merge with a devil they would make me an offer which I rejected by saying I
choose Love and Light. The last 3 devils were extremely powerful and offered
me vast riches and powers but I kept on with my mantra that I choose Love
and Light. Then I continue to travel through the dark void.



I then became aware of a guiding helper above behind my right shoulder. I
never looked back to see this being but from then on I always felt his
presence and guidance. I then had the opportunity to ask questions and my
most burning question at that time is who/what is God?

I then saw God as face traveling through space and time. Universes would
form(be born) on the front of his face and flow towards the back of his head
as they mature and end their life cycle in his flowing hair. Now I have to
mention that as the face was traveling forward (my right to left) it looked
like there was a strong wind blowing on his face. The head was made out of
universes being born on the front as small specs, growing lager as they move
backwards. Looking like spiral galaxies and finally disappearing in the
flowing hair.

Together with the view I just described there is also the understanding of
what God is feeling/thinking and experiencing. The vastness and depth were
incredible to bear and realize. The understanding of who/what God is was
given to me by experiencing God. Infinity, Space, Time, Divine Love is but
all minute little specs of knowledge/experience in comparison to the all
that is God. My question evolved into asking what is your inner essence God? 

This answer came as an unbearable weight of knowing all and the unknowing. 
The best words I came up with other the years is that God is in the 
continual process of self-discovery.  The unbearable weight of unknowing, is 
that great vastness of the part of God that he still needs to discover about 
himself. Not knowing if there is ever an end. We are all part of then 
continual process of discovering the essence of God. We are all God 
discovering herself through our actions, experiences and questions we ask.

I asked God what is outside of you? There is no outside as space and time is
only concepts of our little universe. Then I share with God the unbearable
experience of no time/space and even infinity is just another
concept/experience of the many.

Looking at the face of God, with the wind blowing in his face and multiple
universes being born and coming to an end. I asked if there is no space and
time how come your face is traveling and universes are being born ?

With this question the face transformed into a perfect round sphere. With
the encouragement of my guide behind me I travel closer the sphere which is
God. The sphere looked like a silver ball, and I flew closer to
understand/experience more of who/what God is. Then as I came close enough
to the silver ball (God) I saw the reflection of myself on its surface and
realized that I am God. This was to much for me to bear and I ‘fell down’
from where I was. It is easy to say or understand that ‘we are God’ or ‘we
are one with God”, but there is an unbearable ‘weight/knowing’ of the
experience of being God.



The next thing I remember is trying to find the universe or plane of
existence to which I belong. I was in a lift going down and on each ‘floor’
the doors would open, I looked out and say ‘no this is not where I belong’.
I had visited about 10 ‘planes of existence’ and was starting to get worries
that I would never find my place again. More worried than I was with the
merging with devils. But eventually I found our universe with earth again.



Back in my room I could physically hear the electricity flow in the cables
in the wall. I understood the meaning of live and it is so simplistic that
it made me laugh for a very long time, during with a spiritual
golden/electrical ball formed in my mouth. (and electricity in my
fingertips) The meaning of live which I don’t recalled the next day. The
room was also full of light, I thought the sun was rising, but then realized
that it was me shining the light. I had no shadow.



I am writing this experience on 1 September 2022 which is 17 years after the
meeting with God. It is the epic peak experience for me so far in this
lifetime and a turning point. It changed me from I have faith, to I know. I
have had more spiritual experiences before and after this one, and I never
wrote them down or tell anybody because my spiritual linage advice against
making these things public. But there is nothing more in life that motivate
me so much as to hear the spiritual experiences of others. As I will become
50 in a few months I have to leave these spiritual treasures for others to
learn and grow from. (Now I am crying and can’t write anymore) !!


Today is 16 April 2026,

I have been thinking about this experience the past few days and want to add the following understanding:

When I became one with God and felt how it felt to be God I can define it as:

 

The infinitely heavy burden of isolation vs the infinite strength of continual self discovery.

It is like the expression, ‘An unstoppable force meets an unmovable rock”

Isolation might be interpreted by some as loneliness. And by using this word I know we had the same experience, but the word loneliness means something different to me than what I have experienced. Loneliness is a sad withdrawal into oneself, while there is a whole world outside. But in God case there is no outside or any other being to ‘talk’ to. It is pure isolation, which lead to the creation of other consciousnesses with inside God. (ie Angels, humans and others).

 

Like God is carrying infinite heavy rock climbing an infinite high mountain. 

 

Now imagine the maturity and the inner strength of soul to do this. Additionally to be consciously aware of all that is, the 'infinite' is just a spec in this experience.